Stream of Semi-Consciousness

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2011-11-20T07:38:00.001+01:00

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What's with the bubbles, Mozart?

2007-05-06T22:59:00.000+02:00

Surprisingly, I was NOT invited to George Clooney's 46th birthday party. I am a bit peeved about that. Well, George, I had more important things to do anyway. So I did. I took a bath, I read a book, I had a glass of wine, and I listened to Mozart's Requiem ... All at the same time. There! I bet you're jealous now, Mr. Clooney. Don't feel all that glamorous anymore now, do you?

No idea when it happened, but at some point in my life, that clichéd combination of a bathtub filled with hot water and bubbles, a book, wine, and music - plus a few candles if you REALLY wanna overdo it - has become the epitome of bliss. Well, one of them. There's more, of course. :) Is it just that I started getting old at the age of 20? Whatever it is, I do enjoy it..... Though, next time, George, you can light the candles. :)

When two X-Chromosomes attack

2007-04-06T00:16:00.000+02:00

There are those times when that second X-Chromosome really does get me.... I've never been a girly-girl. Never been into pink, never played with Barbie or other dolls (I was into The Smurfs!), never watched soap operas. Hell, I never wore a dress from the time I was 9 until I turned 22. However, there comes a time when your gender catches up with you. I admit I do abuse the fact that I'm female from time to time: It is just too easy to manipulate guys into carrying your bags to the car or your new furniture up the stairs. I'm ashamed of myself sometimes... But then again.... it's not like I'm forcing the guys. :)

Well, so I'm female. I hate being thought of as a cliché. Still..... there are those days when I'm actually ACTING like a cliché.
Take today: I actually went on a cosmetics shopping rampage. I usually hate shopping. I only go when I know what I want. I go, I buy, I leave. Easy. Today, though, I only knew I NEEDED something.... pretty (it pains me to write stuff like that!). I went, I looked, I started the rampage, .... I spent lots more than I should have on stuff I didn't need. Now I have proven once again that commercials do work on me. Let's see whether all the cosmetics I bought will hold their promises. You'll see me on the cover of Glamour soon, Ladies and Gentlemen!

That is unless the next Werder Bremen soccer game throws me into a deep depression.... A girl can only take so much, ya know.

I'm too tired for all this excitement

2007-04-03T00:36:00.000+02:00

It sounded like a cruel April Fools prank apart from the fact that it was published on April 2nd: On major news sites, I read that EMI will ditch the horrible copyprotection in music downloads they offer. Will that lead to other companies being pressured in doing so as well? I certainly hope so.

See, I am all for buying my music. Despite thinking that what I pay for a single song here is still overpriced, I will still pay. Major issues for me when it comes to musicdownloads are two things:

No complicated downloading/payment process
(hello, major international download portals; although it might be common in the US, credit cards are not ruling the market where I live (yet) .... So adapt to other markets by offering alternative ways to pay)

The possibility for me to play the music I purchased on whatever device I prefer ... maybe even on two, three or four different ones.
I hate having my choices limited to just one player and not being able to listen to legally purchased songs on a non-DRM player. Attempting to circumvent the copy-protection if only in order to use said player makes me a criminal. This whole strategy is counteracting the way our entertainment technology is developing. While the variety of devices to play media broadens every day, the media itself limits us again. Those who can afford it pay over and over for the same content. Those who cannot afford it .... well ....

In any way, I believe it when I see it, but I find this move by EMI exciting. Even though it's going to cost even more to download a song and even though Apple has its fingers in there once again (I somehow don't trust them anymore).... Looking forward to watching those developments. And I'm rambling again. Time to go to bed.

My Name is Ellen and I used to blog here

2007-03-30T20:31:00.000+02:00

Yeah...uh.... I was abducted by aliens! Either that or I watched "Taken" one too many times. In any way: I think I lost 6 months!
Well, all you millions of readers: I am back on the planet!

While I was happily surfing from website to website, checking on all the latest news from Britney, Paris, and Lindsay, I was horrified to find an article about kids giving up social networks for lent. How horrible! No MySpace or Facebook..... Imagine having to give up all these places and being forced to ....oh .... talking to your friends in person. Or, worse, use a phone to talk to those not living in the same dorm. (I swear I know people who IM eachother while sitting on computers twenty feet apart.)

Honestly, in times when you have so many means to communicate, how tough is it to give up places such as MySpace for 40 days? Of course, I am not 16 anymore and I am not catholic, so I will never have to think of anything original to give up for lent. I just love watching people come up with all those cool things to give up. Me? I guess coffee and my weekend-glass-of-wine would be toughest. Blogging? Well, I just had six months of offtime. (the withdrawal symptoms eased after about 40 days.... Oh, wait! ... )

I guess I'll give up MySpace for the remainder of lent. Just as an act of solidarity with the poor kids. Just don't tell anyone that I never really have used my account there!

The shock of finding out that your cat is a moron

2006-09-15T20:05:00.000+02:00

It is not that I have never suspected it in the past. It is not that there haven't been warnings throughout the years. This past Tuesday, however, I finally got my perfect proof: The cat we own - or rather the cat owning us - is a moron.

It was not easy to accept at first, but when the furball got stuck under the shoe cabinet (where he tried to kill a spider) and could not get his head out anymore, not even I could deny it any longer.

Does anyone have hints and tips on how to raise our cat's IQ? We have another cat in the neighborhood who is rather snobbish and seems to look down on poor dumb S all the time. I know S could kick Snob Cat's furry ass any old time, but I am afraid he'd get distracted during the ass-kicking and maybe embarrass himself. So I'd rather work on his IQ for a bit before I send S onto the feline battlefield.

I'd take any advice on improving furball-survival-skills, too. Who knows, next time he gets stuck I might be at work and then he'd have his head under the shoe cabinet for half the day. It would be nice if he could at least solve math problems while waiting....

Poetic Dreamer or Psychotic Freak?

2006-08-19T01:04:00.000+02:00

I bought myself a new fountain pen.
Apart from the fact that some of you, my 5,000 imaginary readers, probably think it is weird to write with a fountain pen, this shouldn't worry anyone as is. However, the purchase marks the end of a long period of self-inflicted fountain pen withdrawal. I am hereby admitting another one of my increasingly disturbing abnormal behavior patterns: Other women collect shoes, perfume bottles, sexy young men ..... I feel an urge to buy fountain pens. For the past three years, I had managed to walk away from all the fountain pen displays in stationery stores. Not so today. I unfortunately suffered a relapse. A failure, that is what I am!

While everyone is thinking (and obviously worrying) about my abnormal behavior patterns: I took another one of those to new heights: Just when I thought I was about to defeat the addiction to switch my computer screen's wallpaper every other day, I made the ultimate switch by buying a new screen. It's a good thing I am not in the position (financially, that is) to do that every other day. It nevertheless disturbs me enough to blog about it.

On another note: I spent from Tuesday to Thursday Night being sick. Poor me! Thankfully, I have the best cat ever. He kept watch over me by sitting at the foot of my bed the whole time. Good cat! I'd write him a thank you note with my new fountain pen if only he could appreciate it.

Roommates from Hell and other Nightmares

2006-08-02T02:53:00.000+02:00

Although I should dive right into my topic of nightmarish roommates, I will first have to report some progress concerning my recently described addiction to ever new desktop wallpaper. I still have the astronaut looking down on me whenever I do computer stuff. Thanks to Thomas, I am suffering from insomnia now as I'm trying to find out what the astronaut is thinking. Due to my lack of sleep, I also lack the energy to change my wallpaper. It's a vicious circle, I tell ya!

Now, some might not suspect it, I actually went to college for longer than I'd like to admit (call me Magistra Artium, please! ... I said "please"!). During that time, I did have a couple of roommates. Those I voluntarily shared apartments with were great. They are still very good friends of mine. However, there were two people, specifically, who still cause me nightmares. Why do some people just have to be psychopaths. And, more importantly, why do these people just love to annoy me?

I encountered the first nightmare when, in my third year, I moved back into a dorm. At my Alma Mater, that meant having your own room in a kind of small apartment, sharing bathroom and kitchen with between one and three others. That's alright. No problem there; except one of those people was a cleaning nazi. I called this particular roommate "The Goose". She simply looked just like a mean cartoon goose which probably caused some kind of trauma during my childhood and which therefore came back from my subconsciousness. The Goose studied to become an engineer working in constructions. She liked making plans. My guess is her major plan was to rule the world as a tyrant one day. Her start was ruling the inhabitants of what she counted as "her apartment". Therefore, she dictated a set of regulations that would make Mr. Clean pale. Every step of the cleaning procedure was described in detail. We weren't to simply remove dirt. No, it was more like purifying the apartment from the evilness that is dust and disorder. Step 3 was to clean the legs of the kitchen chairs, Step 6 was to Kill, kill, KILL!!! all germs.

Needless to say I got out of there after two semesters.

My last roommate in college was a Psych major. Unfortunately, she should have been a patient, too. M. was 23 years old and she obviously couldn't really get over the fact that her posters of horses and kittens allover the room scared most people. I don't think M. had any kind of social life at all. One day, she came into my room while I was studying for my finals. (she did that a lot: coming into my room with the plan to never leave again) After about 5 hours of "once, in Bandcamp..."-like stories (just not THE story, thankfully - I'd have jumped out my window at once), M. finally revealed to me that the only pleasure in her life was to read an article in her animal magazine before bed. ... ... I instantly feigned complete exhaustion, locked my room, called my friends to tell them to call the police in case I wouldn't show up in the morning, and slept on random park benches until the end of the semester.

Roommates can traumatize you for life. I still hyperventilate when I see a poster with kittens.

Just another addiction

2006-07-21T02:02:00.000+02:00

I might need therapy. Just today, I figured out that I do have a problem. Admitting it to myself wasn't easy, but I was finally able to do it. I can even say it out loud now: I am suffering from the compulsive need to change my desktop wallpaper every few minutes! ... Okay, it's actually only every few days, but still.... Being addicted to ever-new wallpapers is not healthy. First, I suspected I got all screwed-up by listening to a whole album of Daft Punk again. But I realized switching to Vivaldi didn't help either. Maybe it's the heat.....

Some people may say I just need a life. However, even having a life away from my desk doesn't help. I've tried everything: reading books, visiting other countries, dating, watching TV, having that often praised social life.... nothing will help! As soon as I'm alone and near my computer, I will change the look of the desktop. I fear I'm a lost case. Thankfully, I have blogging which is great therapy. I wish I could blog a bit more today, but I'll have to go. This computer screen needs some new wallpaper!

What the Wicked Witch of the West must have felt like

2006-07-19T21:51:00.000+02:00

Okay, so I don't exactly know what the Wicked Witch of the West must have felt like when she melted. She melted because of water, I'm about to melt from all that heat. I furthermore will melt with grace as opposed to embarrassing myself by screaming, "I'm melting, ... melting!" If there's one thing you'd want to avoid while melting, it's drawing attention to yourself. Someone should have told that Wicked Witch about etiquette. I'm sure Miss Manners has mentioned the rules on correct melting behavior. Oh well....

I've been trying to find ways to stay cool at the moment. As this country is trying not to have constant blackouts, A/C is hardly to be found in private homes. So I'm left with sticking my head in the freezer for minutes at a time. I have also tried sleeping on a pillow I'd stuck in the freezer before. Unfortunately, this genius idea only sounded great for about two minutes during which the pillow adjusted to the sizzling temperature in my bedroom.

The better part of today saw me dogsitting in addition to trying not to melt. Smart dog slept spread out on our tiled kitchen floor. I wonder whether it would look funny if I took my frozen pillow and camped out in the kitchen tonight .... and maybe for the next few days. What I am sure of is that the sun is after me: I swear, when I was walking the dog today, a voice from the skies whispered, "I'll get you, my Pretty, and your little dog, too!"

Provincial Terrorism

2006-07-15T02:07:00.000+02:00

Imagine you live in a relatively small town close to the Baltic Sea! Suddenly, people start seeing Men in Black sneaking around. You discover that all the manholes in town are welded shut (and, no, there's not been an alligator sighting or something equally "Lake Placid"-like ). Two weeks into all those strange events, the town is divided into zones. To make it easier on those "visual" people, the zones are called "red" and "yellow". The Red Zone is pretty much the whole town center and nobody but a chosen 1,000 people (that's a 5th of my imaginary readers!!!) is allowed in. Too bad you are not among the chosen ones (probably because of that stick of chewing gum you stole when you were 8). Even worse that you actually live in the first street off Town Square. You're happy it's actually summer and two or three nights under a bridge surely build character.
Every business in the Red Zone: cafes, restaurants, law practices, doctor's offices, stores ... I said "every business", right? So every business can pretty much close down for two days. All this happens: your whole town is shut down. An Alien Invasion? Kind of. ... Please welcome the President of the United States of America, George W. Bush, to Stralsund, Germany! .... And they wonder why nobody in town (but the Kempinski Hotel who housed half of the United States, it seems) was happy.... (it does explain the naming of the "zones", however. Big words needed to be avoided!) Well, we know International Terrorism is everywhere .... and if Bin Laden has lived in a cave somewhere between Afghanistan and Pakistan for years, there's always the chance he's moved into the sewer system of Stralsund now.

Underwear in Black-Red-Gold

2006-06-14T19:05:00.000+02:00

It's hot! Too hot to do anything but drink cold beer and watch soccer - which I'm pretty content with.
You can currently see something here in Germany which you usually don't see much: the national colors. They even sell underwear in black, red and gold. And no, I don't own a pair!
I still pretend to be a skilled soccer player. I wonder how many people I've been able to convince with my incredible "playing injured" trick. Pretty sure the call to the German Women National Team will come soon. They wouldn't wanna miss out on that kind of chance.

Off to see the next Germany game now... I am bit scared!

Superhero in training

2006-06-01T01:09:00.000+02:00

I have recently contemplated giving up the job hunt and becoming a Superhero instead. This is in honor of the coming release of Superman Returns ('though I'm still trying to decide whether the movie should generally be despised by me as it can never be the REAL Superman. - it's sad, but I am THAT shallow!).

In order to join the ranks of Spiderman and the rest of the spandex-wearing elite, I will need some training. As everyone now knows, I am currently busy with my soccer practice. This forces me to keep my superhero training units light. As a warm-up, I today performed my very first heroic deed: I brought two tall cappuccinos for my co-workers. You may not see the heroic value in this; not at first glance, at least. You will, however, see it clearly once you hear that I transported those cappuccinos on my scooter! I furthermore did not wear spandex, but plain jeans (and my helmet, of course!). This, my friends, is what separates me from the common old Superhero you know from your Marvel comics and the classic cartoon series. This is what makes me a contemporary superhero....

Tomorrow is the day to move this one step further. My deed then will be even tougher on myself and most probably on those who have to deal with my new superhero-ness: I will get up at 6 am again. God help us all!

What's 11 meters in feet?

2006-05-20T20:55:00.000+02:00

I have a confession to make. Many of my 5,000 imaginary readers will probably not want to be friends with me anymore. Some may not even want to talk to me anymore, others will probably assure me they'll be there for me again once I've come to my senses...

It is not easy to admit it, but I am a soccer (Football - for you British English aficionados) fan. I am female, I have an advanced degree .... and I love soccer! Somewhat non-cliche. What's even worse: I suck at playing it myself. It is, admittedly, highly entertaining for others seeing me "play": Usually, what spectators will see is me starting to run after the ball, maybe getting it once, losing it while desperately looking for a teammate to pass the ball, then fainting from exhaustion halfway across the field. How can they RUN that far? It's nothing short of amazing to me.

Even if I weren't a soccer fan, I wouldn't stand a chance here at the moment. We have a couple of days to go before the World Cup 2006 starts. And it will be right here in Germany! That's the good part. Now for the annoying stuff:

They even have sausages shaped like soccer balls! Everybody is trying to make money in that big bad marketing machine. You should see our supermarkets! It's almost funny. Who buys all that stuff? Alright, so I bought the soccer-shaped Nutella jar. But it was because it's almost a Kilo Nutella! See, it's actually a GOOD thing!

Obviously not that good - from the legal aspect - were the vibrators named after popular soccer players. They had to be ... er ... pulled off the market after said players protested the use of their names. Probably a good idea; What if the German team suffers a premature ..... exit and is literally kicked out of the World Cup after the first round? Wouldn't be good advertising for a vibrator not to be able to finish it, eh?

Oh well, so here I am, dragging my friends and my soccerball to the park every weekend, desperately trying to manage running across the field ONCE without needing a respirator afterwards. The World Cup starts in 10 days and I'll need to be in shape by then. Or something....

I'll be watching the games on Big Screens allover town. That way, I can see the really important thing: all those nicely displayed soccerplayer butts ..... er.... ya know! Whatever, I'm off to eat Nutella.

About time, Google!

2006-05-01T17:27:00.000+02:00

Can you survive another geek post? Suit yourself!

I hadn't really checked my blogroll for a couple of days. Catching up now that the withdrawal symptoms are getting far too severe. So now that I read all my favorite blogs, I find that Google seems to finally have managed Google Maps for Europe. I am impressed!

See, the thing about Google is that it seems to be releasing all those cool things one after the other. It's all geek stuff. Most people probably wouldn't be excited about it. I am, though. (I have the distinct feeling this abnormal behavior was caused by early exposure to a Commodore 64) I am, however, not impressed with Google's way of never doing stuff properly. Oh, they have chat in Googlemail now, they even finally decided that a delete button is actually a good thing to have even though your e-mail provider offers almost 3 Gigs of space. Buuuuut, chat only works when you have your account set to US-English. I love that! It doesn't even work in UK-English. I realize it must be very tough to translate it from US- to British English. Very difficult, indeed! Same thing with the "Delete" Button. How many months does one need to tranlate the word "delete" into a different language? How come the German Google Mail version just now got their own "delete" button?

My guess is that the American Google Geeks are just a bit too enthusiastic about creating new stuff while the translators probably even have a social life or something equally disgusting.

Talking about social life: I think I OD'ed on that over the weekend. I need sleep now....

(EDIT: Wow, Google Talk for Gmail was just made available for lots of "foreign" languages! ... "Foreign" meaning "not American English". That impressed me immensely again. Suddenly having the chat set to make sounds was rather inconvenient - having to scramble turning it off at work and all. ;) )

Error Messages

2006-04-27T00:05:00.000+02:00

I hate error messages.... My phone gives me a "Battery almost empty" (how nice to warn me before it's completely empty!). My computer - when booted into Windows - still likes to give me the "illegal operation" error message and the cat meows in an alarming way when he thinks he needs help catching that spider on the wall. Error messages are everywhere! I do feel a bit paranoid today. The "Error Messages are trying to kill me!" paranoia got worse today when my boss came by to tell me he needed customized error messages on our business website. . .I am still not sure whether he considered my screaming and locking myself in the bathroom an overreaction.

Oh Morpheus....

2006-04-21T01:22:00.000+02:00

I haven't slept properly for at least a week. The weekend is near, there might be hope for me. Nothing exciting going on right now. If I'm going all geek on you now, the lack of excitement is to blame for it. Suit yourself!

Today at work, they finally found out that I suck when it comes to Vector graphics and related software. Not that I really would need it for the job - as I'm mostly doing all the writing, not much layout. I keep telling everyone how I just don't get Corel Draw at ALL. Everyone but ... my boss. So, after he was done with a half hour rant about whatever his problem with some layout thing was ... I told him I didn't understand a word in the past ...say ... 28 minutes. In the end, I admitted my lack of vital knowledge in the area of said software. Sadist he is, he suddenly comes up with all kinds of layout stuff he needs me to do. How I wish I never said anything. I used to tell people I couldn't make coffee (until I finally started drinking it myself) to avoid having to make it. I should have stayed with that kind of thinking

More geek stuff: This is my first post from a Linux Operating System. How exciting, I know! Still using Windows 2000 Pro next to my Ubuntu Linux. Using Win2K for most of the graphics/ music/ video editing stuff, but Ubuntu might well become the mainly used Operating System on my computer. If they call me a geek already, I might as well really go for it. :)

Going to bed now. I heard there's a law that says to be in bed by 2 am or you'll be eaten by a pack of squirrels. Sounds plausible ... there's a park nearby!

Sigh

2006-04-15T00:06:00.000+02:00

Everybody's got the right to rant, right? You do .... and I do. So I guess that's settled. I'm sure there's plenty of material for a mudfight - judging from all that rain coming down here right now. The mud might also have a deodorizing effect, which could help me fight that B.O. and become more popular... But I think mudfights are against our constitution. So... Nah! (or blah!)

Other than that, I am far too tired to start another rant. I could complain about a lot of things today ... The weather, for example!

I've been looking for a new job. Well, a real job, for a change... Full time and permanent. Now that I have my M.A., I can go for Gold, can't I? ...
Meanwhile, back in my current job, I've been spending the last few days knee-deep in php code. How did that happen?

My computer studies teacher from Highschool would NEVER believe it. Yours Truly used to sit in his classes not knowing jack about coding. He made us program a winter landscape with snowmen and falling snow which was then supposed to stay on the ground. When my Turbo Pascal program finally ran, the three snowballs making up the snowman were all in different places. The little triangle meant to be the carrot-nose was stuck somewhere in the upper left corner of the "landscape" and the snow came up from the ground - then sticking allover the screen. Abstract art, anyone? Within about ten minutes, the screen was white from all that "snow".

Yeah, I was special! I tried making it look like all that was done on purpose, but it didn't work. In the end, I used all my "Wild Cards" (you could choose three out of about 40 classes and pretty much "delete" them) on computer studies classes.

Anyway, I wonder whether the boss would still make me do coding work beside the PR stuff if he talked to my teacher. Hmmm....

I'm supposed to be off to party now. But I'm tired. Maybe I'm just getting old!

Putting on my German accent

2006-04-06T19:37:00.000+02:00

Can you hear that slightly annoyed tone in my writing? .. What? There actually IS a thing like that. It's the way I'm killing my keyboard right now.... So - rant! (there's material for lots of rants right now, but here's just one):

There's hardly anything that annoys me more than people who just hold on to their cliches. Truth is, I did realize - while living abroad - that there are definitely cliches about people of my nationality which are true for the most part. An example is that I always am late. I am! .... When I'm home, at least. I don't arrive any earlier to anything when I'm abroad. The difference is, however, that other people (THE French, THE Italians, THE British and THE Americans - get my drift?) don't consider the time I arrive as "late". For most, it's still early. So, when there were meetings, I used to race there, thinking I was late already and how embarrassing this was. When I got there, I was usually the first.... Being anywhere on time is "late" in my eyes. Being anywhere five minutes after the actual meeting time is awfully late. This is something deeply rooted in our culture. When you never see it differently, it's the way you are. The fact that I realized it while I was living somewhere else proves that cultural exchange is something well worth it - in most cases...

The good thing is that I can make fun of my German-ness now. I get teased about things like being on time and always being afraid someone could think I'm a Nazi .... there's more, but I know I will just give you stuff to make fun of again. ;) I tease my friends from allover the world about cliches about their culture. The point is, however, that a people is not a homogenous mass with all the same habits, the same looks or the same perception. The basics might be similar as they are rooted in cultural circumstances, but I would never go so far as to tell you all Americans have bad taste when it comes to home decoration (and do NOT tell me about cuckoo clocks! It seems to me that more Americans than Germans have them in their home). A few things about life in the US seemed strange to me. I had a major problem with the obsession to just having to have a date or else die right there (this seemed to be a highschool phenomenon). And I had a problem with that overuse of euphemisms ... I'd never use the words "not normal" for that, though. ... I just remember when I first tried ordering a "normal" (even in Italy) Pizza with Tuna and half the people around me started gagging... So there is no "normal" in the context of different cultures. I learned that.

I used to have huge arguments with one of the girls who was an au pair in the same hostfamily - just a year later. She hated Americans. She hated the way Americans talked, she thought Americans had no culture, she thought they were all fake and insincere. She told me Americans had no taste, American food was terrible, Americans were ignorant, American kids were completely spoiled and not at all capable of doing anything on their own. ... blah blah I asked her what the hell she was still doing in that country full of a huge, stupid, homogenous mass of uncultured bastards (and that was before King George took his throne!). Why not just go back home where everyone was NORMAL and cultured and oh so great? Why? (She eventually went home early, btw. But that's a whole new story... as they say.)

Why do I rant? Well, just today I stumbled upon a couple of rants about how bad my homecountry is. ... It seems I have a strong body odor and thinking for myself is not one of my strengths. All that because I'm very German. And as you all know, us Germans are ALL fucking stiff and very humorless... which is actually the reason for this rant.

I'll go to bed now... without a shower, of course! I cannot smell myself yet, so it's not time. A friendly "Yeehaw" to all my American friends! I can't tell you apart, unfortunately, you all look so similar! ;)

Gimme Seven!

2006-03-25T16:57:00.000+01:00

Before I start blogging about anything else, I will finally have to comply with that tag I got from Ashley. She's lucky it was her birthday when she tagged me. ;) Soooo, here's my very lame list:

7 things to do before I die:

1. Jump off the 10 meter diving board. Given that I don't even dare climbing up the 3 meter board anymore, this will take a lifetime to achieve
2. Travel to Africa
3. Re-learn Russian
4. Win an Oscar (I don't know what I'd win it for, but I wanna use that Thank You Speech I've practiced since I was 10)
5. Buy a car for my mom just because I CAN
6. Write to Valentina Tereshkova and tell her she was my heroine when I was a kid (see the difference between people growing up in communist countries and others ;) )
7. Go on a loooong trip with my sister - anywhere in the world

7 Things I Cannot Do:

1. Stay still (I am NOT a copycat. ;) Staying still is impossible for me)
2. Stay silent for a day- or even half a day... ... ... okay, an hour!)
3. Not be sarcastic (I soooo tried)
4. Tell people to shut the f*** up, already (I think it, but I never get myself to say it)
5. Climb up the 10 meter diving board
6. Eat slimy stuff
7. Become a Vegetarian (tried that one, too - no way!)

7 things I say most often:

1. Damn! (in English!)
2. Fucking Hell! (in English!)
3. Arschkuh (it's a made up word ... literally means "ass cow")
4. Übelst (don't think I translate all that stuff)
5. Maybe ..... NO!
6. Come baaaaaaack! (from Titanic It's a running gag at work.)
7. Scully!!!! (when I yell at the cat - which happens a LOT!)

7 books I love:

1. The Secret History
2. Catch 22
3. Catcher in the Rye
4. Faust I (I really do love that book!)
5. all the Harry Potter books
6. most Paul Auster books
7. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
There's so many more. I think finding just 7 books I hate would be easier

7 movies I can watch over and over again:

1. Airplane! ("Hospital? What is it?" "Oh, it's this big building...")
2. Life of Brian (the only movie ever that is better in its dubbed German version)
3. Ferris Bueller's Day off
4. Breakfast Club (pretty much all the Brat Pack stuff)
5. Field of Dreams (Corn fields were never this intriguing before)
6. Bridget Jones' Diary (my sister and I hold whole conversations in movie quotes)
7. Three to Tango ("Don't make me make you my prison bitch!")
8. Spaceballs - oh, wait... that was number 8, right? er....
Again, there's lots more....

Alright.... I don't have that many people to tag.... So two will have to do:
Clare and Claud, you're TAGGED!

Paging Noah!

2006-03-10T02:46:00.000+01:00

I shouldn't even blog. I have no right to blog. I should be sitting huddled into a corner with a book about communication theories in my hand. Rebellious as I am, however, I am not! Not sure what or who I'm rebelling against as I am actually the one who will be screwed if I decide against reading my books, but I guess a short flashback into my teenage years is in order. Hell, I'm such a rebel! I feel this deep urge to go and find a mosh pit right now....

After months of heavy snow it is now officially five minutes to Doomsday. Someone should start collecting the wood for an ark. I was really hoping for some sun, but reality caught up with me in a very cruel way. It's been raining heavily ever since last night. That's about 30 hours now. 30 hours of heavy rain.

Oh well, sun is overrated. Who cares that even my cat is starting to become suicidal? Nature's going crazy anyway. What is this story about the furry blond lobster? Is that the Paris Hilton among the crustacean? God help us all! (I hope Jewish people will not start burning our embassy now, because I spelled out G_d. 'Cause I keep seeing comments in other blogs cautioning people not to speak their mind as "we've seen what can happen")

Oh, I also feel I have to mention that Ashley snuck up on me and tagged me. As it was her birthday recently (Happy belated Birthday, Girl!), I will have to honor the tag. But I won't have the time until next week. Soooo, patience, grasshoppers!

Finally, Ashley, here's your b-day gift! You'll have to thank Clare for the nightmares you'll have. I only enhanced the pic a bit. ;)

If you are the guy in this picture.... *dramatic pause* Write to Clare. She's waiting!

The Wheels on the Bus go Round and Round...

2006-02-18T18:28:00.000+01:00

... Alright, I just had a flashback to my au pair days. I guess I will sing myself to sleep for the next three weeks.

So, Busses... Busses are those funny things I had to take to get to work every morning for a whole ten days recently. Has anyone ever noticed how a bus is like a micro-society (I think I made that up)?

First day taking the bus: Keeping your eyes on the floor. Shyly saying "Good Morning" and "One, please" and "Thank you" to the bus driver who's silently taking your money and printing out your ticket. Then taking the first available seat (only later realizing it was the one reserved for the handicapped and feeling bad about it for the next 12 years), not looking at the other passengers, but feeling their eyes burning holes in your back. Of course, they are all talking about you and sometimes also write essays about your behavior which are then reviewed by some secret panel.
The third day bringing far more confidence for you. Having the seatplan and all the off-limit seats learned by heart. Being able to ask the busdriver an actual question (just don't mention the fact that he didn't shave properly!). Smiling at fellow passengers is actually resulting in them smiling back from time to time.
Knowing the busdriver's first name and shouting a "Good Morning" with half the bus shouting back is a sure sign that Day 5 is all it's supposed to be. And then there's Day 8 starting off with asking your fellow passengers' questions about Life, the Universe and ... uh.... Everything and them knowing about that bad rash you suffered from when you were 8 1/2.
What's there to say about Day 10? Someone new is getting on the bus, sitting down in the reserved seat. You proceed staring holes in their back as it is indeed outrageous to sit in those seats. Then it's going ahead with essay-writing, not before having a good old discussion about the whole issue with all the other passengers. You're getting all curious what the secret panel will say about that.

Day 11? Well, you sit in your newly repaired car and curse the bus in front of you which is crawling along at a snail's pace and keeping you from arriving at work in time.

Happy Black Tuesday, Everyone!

2006-02-14T23:27:00.000+01:00

If I have to listen to one more overly sweet lovestory today, I will rip my ears off! (would that actually prevent me from hearing those stories? I don't think it would. Oh cruel human anatomy!) They had the supposedly cutest lovestories on the radio all day today. It was the radiostation that's on at work! Where I cannot flee it! A horrible feeling of doom kept on rising inside me during the whole 8 hours. I like to think of myself as a survivor: Someone who just made it out alive...

One lovestory would have been fine, but why do they have to over-do everything? Why why why?

Anyway.... I have nothing against Valentine's Day! Nope! Just don't force it on me!

Do You Hear What I Hear?

2006-02-12T20:45:00.000+01:00

I have the distinct feeling that nobody but me can hear this distant sound of a hammer hitting an anvil. It must be in my head and my guess at the cause of it might also be pretty accurate: Red Wine! When will I grow up and stop drinking as much red wine as I did last night? At least I friggin' deserve the headache I got. Shall I be proud of it and thereby make it into something positive?

I am currently very very unhappy about my citizenship. I am part of an increasingly evil group of Westerners who allow insensitive and insulting cartoons to be published in their newspapers. Moreover, we don't scream for those evil journalists to have their hands hacked off. It's outrageous! But that is not why I'm unhappy about belonging to the evil part of the world. What really makes me sad is that we don't have civilized flag-burning parties and - this is even worse - we aren't allowed to just go and randomly burn buildings. Really, it makes me want to pout and stomp my foot and burn my passport. There's nothing more civilized and sensitive than spending a Saturday night out socializing by the warmth of a burning embassy. And we are denied this simple pleasure! I'm all for a revolution! And a bloody one this time, please! I've had one peaceful revolution in my life and it was boring. I think I'll now go and see how many reasons for being insulted I can find in my Peanuts cartoons. Charles M Schultz, I'm onto you!

Creative Chaos

2006-02-02T17:56:00.000+01:00

I'm drowning in absolute chaos (Absolute Vodka would be much more appreciated right now)! Work is crazy. I sometimes do yearn for my own office with an actual door in it. ... And then it dawns on me that working in chaos and noise is preferable to not working at all. Oh well....

I need to be creative 8 hours a day right now. The pressure! While I'm responsible for all the writing, I'm surrounded by those visual people working with me in the Creative Pool. The radio is on full blast - which doesn't bother me at all. Hey, I already mentioned how educational it is, right? From time to time, however, there's a day like today: People keep calling, ordering stuff to be designed and printed in the next - oh - two hours! Everyone keeps having to switch computers ("Oh, I need to use InDesign. My computer won't start it. Let me have the Mac for a sec, will ya?"), I am constantly forced to forward files from one computer to the next, my boss is running around like a maniac (He has his own office, dammit! Why does he have to keep visiting us?), the plotter is making weird noises and keeps eating huge chunks of film, and I keep getting calls from the printing workshop to help out with some screen printing. Why I haven't attempted to put my head in the laser printer (Geek Suicide!) is beyond me.

In all this chaos, I am expected to write all the website content and today I was also to write a press release.
"Oh," I hear you say, "first semester PR class. How easy!"
NOT! It took me hours to write one damn page. I'm a disgrace! It's a good thing I only have an inkjet printer at home. If I owned a laser printer.....

Get Outta My Head!

2006-01-31T19:22:00.000+01:00

Here's proof that listening to the radio at work can be very educational: I learned something new today. There is also a high possibility that I forgot I am a woman who can multitask while I was gaining this very helpful piece of quizshow knowledge, but that is beside the point. Here's what's important: When I'm in one of those huge payout quiz shows next time (which we all know will happen as soon as those TV people realize how very attractive I would be on TV) and the host asks,

"Well, Ellen R Ashard, would you please explain to us why instrumental pieces are less likely to be stuck in your head than any music with lyrics?"

I will look up to the heavens - pretending to thank a higher being for such an easy question (you wanna appeal to the conservative crowd, too, ya know! Who knows when I have to go through immigrations at an US-airport next time). Then I will calmly say,

"But of course, [insert host's first name here], the problem with lyrics is that your brain can visualize them. That means it'll try to repeat and complete a song you've just stopped listening to (in many a case by smashing the radio in tiny little pieces, because you just. could. not. take it. anymore!) The best solution often seems to be a rusty nail driven right into your brain. Instrumental pieces are less likely to be stuck in your head, because they obviously lack lyrics."

See how much you can learn just by listening to the radio? Aren't you glad I don't watch the Discovery Channel at work?

You fully deserve to ask out loud that question which has been bothering you once more: WTF is her point? There truly is one! I myself have suffered from my overactive brain's attempts to happily sing one and the same song for about 5 Million hours straight over the weekend: Winter Wonderland!

Now that you've read all this hoping for an actual point to this, you deserve a reward. Here's two reasons for me liking the place I come from:

My kingdom for some caffeine!

2006-01-15T04:29:00.000+01:00

Up until I was 24, I preferred tea to coffee. Sure, during my aupair year, what my hostfamily (and many other Americans) called coffee helped me survive the hours around noon when the baby was sleeping, but I wasn't supposed to sleep. Then I started college and suddenly tea was en vogue again. Along came the cigarettes. Nicotine and caffeine don't really play nicely together in this body of mine. Toward the end of that good old time in college, when my Master's Thesis was looming, Nicotine started playing a supporting role again. As was tea. Well, tea started to be more like an extra - if you wanna stay in movie terminology.

Coffee is now my religion (Nicotine has long gone bye-bye)! In my later semesters it already played a role if I had to survive early classes (which would be classes starting around 10 am). It was some kind of professor/students bonding ritual. Everyone met at the coffee shop, barely able to grunt at each other (an acceptable morning greeting within the academia), bought a coffee-to-go and walked to class together in silence. After the first 5 to 10 sips, the world was a happier place and so was class. The Latte Macchiato guy and the Cappuccino girl could happily co-exist. If that isn't an ideal world, I don't know what is.

So coffee got big. Huge, in fact. See, I'm a night owl. I work best at night when everything around me is quiet and when there's just crap on TV. Procrastination is much harder then. My neighbors would throw a fit if I started cleaning the bathroom at 3 am. That means I'll get some work done. It also means I wrote my entire Master's Thesis at night. I did my research in the afternoon. I started writing around 8 pm and I went to bed around 7 am. The thesis wasn't a masterpiece, I admit. BUT .... it would have been worse without that daily - or rather nightly - dosage of caffeine.

As I was saying; While coffee began sneaking into my life as soon as I went off into the big world - living 4000 Miles away from Mommy's cocoa, it turned into a necessity with the research nightmare that was my thesis.

The Master's Thesis was finished a while ago, the grades are in, the exams were written ... what stays is my caffeine addiction and the coffee stains allover the carpet around my computer. I can't make myself getting rid of that rug. Is it bad that I feel an emotional attachment to coffee stains?

Well, - and this is for Ashley, one of my two non-imaginary readers, who also seems to like coffee (although at a much earlier age than I did :) ) - I found the perfect gifts for people like us: You can actually buy stuff with a caffeine molecule on it. I want this! If anyone ever needs a gift for me: Buy This! If I have to use my subliminal affirmation skills on this blog - so be it! I want one of those caffeine molecule things! And don't call me a geek!

Ferris Bueller - You're My Hero!

2006-01-13T01:39:00.000+01:00

I've been hyperventilating all day. Ever since I found out that there's a Special Edition Ferris Bueller's Day Off DVD out, actually.

And here's the historical background: Soon after the Wall came down, we got an old VCR. Anyone remember Betamax, the video format which lost the battle with VHS? This VCR still used Beta tapes. It came with a couple of movies - one of which was Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I loved it! I was 11 years old and I just loved this movie. It should probably have been the first clue for my Mom that her child would turn into a serious movie-holic and unbearable movie-watching companion. She never watched the movie that played part in her daughter's tumble towards Media Studies. She had no idea!

Now, I won't be able to function properly until I get my hands on a Ferris Bueller's Day Off Special Edition DVD.... Wonder whether they sell them here.

Oh, and Clare, there's not a chance in hell I will ever post pics of my cat. He has a No Picture Clause in his contract! Damn Diva!

Back on the Nautilus - Let Me Go, Jules!

2006-01-08T02:56:00.000+01:00

Alright, so I admit that I've always been a bookworm and a geek. Not my fault that my dad had all these shelves full of books I didn't fully understand but still loved to read. Jules Verne's books were among them. However, although I did read most of the "classics" by that French guy, I never actually enjoyed them as much as other people did. Don't know why. I just never understood the appeal of the Nautilus...

Fast Forward 17 years: I think I have a fatal addiction to Jules Verne novels. Having an advanced degree in American Studies didn't actually get me closer to loving the works of French authors. Neither did Communications or Theatre Arts. All those years in college never gave me a chance to read many novels by authors of nationalities other than US-American, Canadian or maybe British: Hell, I hardly got to read novels in my native language. I'm still not reading enough stuff like that. But I'm re-reading all my Jules Verne novels. Not in French, mind you! (I'd like to, but I will not pretend I'd understand enough of it) I do read the German translation. And here's the mystery of all this:

I actually enjoy 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and all the other geeky works.

Why, Jules, why?
What I'm wondering: Am I just getting old as I now seem to get the appeal of it all or am I having a relapse of pre-teen adventure-loving escapism? I'm confused!

Working, Booze, and Afternoon Naps

2006-01-05T01:09:00.000+01:00

I have to get up in 5 hours. Today was my first day of work in the new year. I was not even capable of making myself coffee in the morning. Zombies do not drink coffee! (I have never seen any zombie film in which the undeads' first urge was to go and make coffee)

The boss gave us alcohol at work! I am not sure whether he thinks that makes us more productive, but it seems to be a normal thing on the first work day of the year. I know that tradition from college. Only that it was the last day of the year then ... And maybe also all days of the last months. But let's not talk about that!

Coming home from work, I really needed a nap. Am I the only one who considers 180 minutes to be "about half an hour"?

The cat slept on my back the whole time only to scratch me when I got up. I am considering boot camp for that pet.

Die, Dustmite! Die, Die, Die!

2005-12-30T05:06:00.000+01:00

Oh, I have known this all my life. Cannot wait to tell Ma Mimmelitt that Dustmites are killed off by those who never make their bed. Okay, so maybe I phrased it a tiny bit radical, but that's essentially what this article says, isn't it? By not making my bed, I have most probably saved myself from a potentially fatal allergy. I am my own hero! I should get a prize.

Oh right, before I discovered this life altering article, I meant to update on my DVD non-Date. It was nice. I laughed, I ate Olives, I told him he snores. He fiercely rejected that claim. Guess he's not the right one then!

Bedtime for me. Alone, thank you very much!

Am I late enough?

2005-12-29T19:29:00.000+01:00

This is not going to end well. I just know it. Meeting at 10 pm to watch a DVD. No! No no no no no, it's NOT a date. Don't even think about arguing this point in your countless comments, all you 5,000 imaginary readers. It's just simple DVD watching... No more!

I have decided to take the car. That means some shoveling, but it also prevents any over-indulging (in alcohol, that is!). Now you see that not being at work gives me time to think about stuff I shouldn't be thinking about. Hello, Controlfreak Persona, how was your short nap?

Oh yeah, and Christmas is over. How did that happen? It always sneaks up on me and then it sneaks off equally fast and quiet.

It's just like Winter! It seems that every single year around December (give or take a month or so) there's a suprise appearance by .... snow! Even CNN.com reports it. Admittedly, this doesn't mean much as they have taken to reporting on celebrity breakups and other important political events on their main page lately. In any way, Europe is up in arms about the evil snow sneaking up on us once again. Maybe it's just the aforementioned control freak in me that is aware of the season and even somehow prepared to see cold weather including ... yes, Sir! ... lots of snow! Who needs International Terrorism when that cold white stuff can attack us out of the blue every single year at roughly the same time and we still act surprised? Sheesh!

I'm off to shovel the snow from the car.

Silly Stuff, Cold Stuff, and Caffeinated Stuff

2005-12-28T17:08:00.000+01:00

Oh man, I really need to get that job application to Google. Wonder whether their Marketing Department also does this kind of stuff at work. Silly Putty! I looooove Silly Putty. That reminds me... I used to have four different kinds of that stuff somewhere around here. It was all I bought at the Crayola Factory years ago. (yes, I was being pointed and laughed at at that time! Little did they know that even the Google Geeks ... er ... employees liked Silly Putty) Now I suspect one of my cousins stole my Silly Putty. This calls for a thorough investigation, but not right now. I am still snowed in anyway.

According to the current color of the sky, I don't think the snowing will stop anytime soon. As per the request of 5,000 imaginary readers of this blog, I will post a couple of pictures which are equally crappy as the two I posted before. It's just that I really like bad, blurry or insufficently lit pictures. It's a passion!

All pics were taken from windows.

Off to have some coffee. Snowpictures make me sleepy.

Dashing Through The Snow

2005-12-27T00:06:00.000+01:00

Can you actually dash through snow? Not counting any dashing aided by skis or other such little helpers. I don't think you can. Convince me otherwise by sending me video footage of you dashing through the snow! ... You know, be a real - what do they call them nowadays - 'citizen journalist'! (I love that term. Anyone with a crappy cellphone cam can be a journalist now! Wow! Well, it might be more credible than those real journalists 'embedded' in army units. Who are they actually kidding? But I digress...)

Yes, to answer that silent question you have been asking yourself all through the first paragraph - I still tell myself this isn't only read by me - there actually is a point to this post. It's to show you some really crappy pics. I'm the master of that. It's blurry-nism. The reason for that is a lack of a tripod and some impulsive urge to take pictures when the light is rather bad, not alcohol as you probably silently suspected.

First is the Christmas Bush sans cat. Needed to take a pic now as the cat seems to have a disastrous addiction to those twigs. My prediction is that it'll be gone by New Year's. The CB, not the cat. Nice kitty food!

Next pic is a VERY blurry one out of my window right now. See anyone dashing through the snow? I don't!

I thought there were more, but there aren't. I'm back to listening to more sentimental Christmas music. Maybe I'll eat some chips, cry a bit and then watch It's a Wonderful Life.

It's Christmas Eve ... the Tree's Up! Do You Know Where Your Cat Is?

2005-12-25T02:21:00.000+01:00

We don't have a Christmas Tree. We should have one, being from the country that is allegedly to blame for half the world putting the whole forest in their living room around X-mas. Instead, we have what I like to call a Christmas Bush (not to be confused with a tinsel-wearing George W.!). Apart from the Christmas Bush, we also own a cat (or rather the cat owns us). His favorite place is right under the CB.

Now, cats are funny people. All through the year, they like to hide the fact that they nibble on all the plants around the apartment. As soon as Christmas comes along, they openly show their addiction to green stuff. All our cat does all day is to sleep under the CB and eat from it whenever he wakes up. He then proceeds to throw up allover the place.

He won't let me chase him away from our CB. I would in fact need a BBGun which, in my opinion, would be rather drastic. I guess I'll try to give him an extra treat tomorrow. It's Christmas, after all!

Happy Holidays to you, whether you're Man, Woman, Child, or Cat .... and maybe even a Dog!

You Too Can Be An Idiot!

2005-12-16T15:10:00.000+01:00

To quote the almighty Dr. Evil:

Why must I be surrounded by friggin' idiots?

No. No new SIA stories and rants. The internship is over and I have already finished my joyful hours of happydancing. -After I took the medication, it suddenly didn't appear to be as danceworthy anymore

However, there's plenty of other idiots. Sure, there might be people who think I am a moron, too. At least I don't argue with my boyfriend/husband/weird elderly creep who I call my aquintance but who is really my secret oldfatguy-fetish-satisfation (okay, I grossed myself out with that one) ... where was I? Yeah, I don't argue with... someone else across the whole supermarket. The topic: canned soup The overall theme of this particular argument: Is there caraway seed in the canned Lentil Soup? Now, some might find this is the Ultimate Question about Life, Universe and Everything. (it's not, I checked: Is there Caraway Seed in the Lentil Soup? - 42 ... Doesn't work!) Others might simply hate Lentil Soup. I, for one, merely tried to concentrate on which sandwich would be Sandwich du jour on this stormy Friday afternoon. Impossible with two people "entertaining" a whole supermarket with their faulty grammar and screeching voices. For half a minute I did muse about the probability of their bodies never being found buried in the mostly ignored bags of frozen Brussel Sprouts.

They ended up buying Potato Soup which definitely does have caraway seed in it. Perverts! But, seriously, where's the Soup Nazi when you need him?

No Soup For You!

Ego Boosts and Bitchslapping Fantasies

2005-12-15T19:21:00.000+01:00

You see, I'll take any ego boost I can get - even when it's a Which-Video-Are-You-? Quiz. Check out this:

Take the Which Madonna Video Are You Quiz.

You're more intelligent than 90% of the people you interact with. Academic and witty, you are an avid reader and thinker. You are artsy-fartsy and creative, and you have been or will be deeply inspired by the book, "Memoirs of a Geisha" and are fascinated with oriental culture and history. Many write you off as a geek, but don't listen to them. You have trouble relating to the "club-scene" and want a partner who's interested by the same topics as you. And remember: love is all we need.

Can I get a "Yeeehaw"? Okay, so I'm not actually too interested in what they call "oriental" culture. Not more than I am interested in other cultures. Let's just pretend for a little while longer, though! I really do like the part about being more intelligent than 90% of the people I interact with. I should have known that in college when I sat in a room with a whole bunch of profs, interacting with them.

On a different note: Stupid Intern Ass (SIA) from work is currently not working. The wimp fell off his bike and hurt his poor little hand. I'm pretty sure he fell asleep biking.

It doesn't happen often that I dislike people, but I do dislike SIA. I stopped giving him the benefit of "hasn't had a chance to prove himself okay yet and might just be nervous to be in a new job" after the second time he muttered crap. Shouldn't it give you a hint when your co-workers suddenly go to the bathroom much more frequently.... Just to scream! I was looking forward to bitchslapping him on his last day of work. The bastard must have sensed my cunning plan. He weaseled his way out of it. Dammit! Falling off a bike! Ha!

Sometimes I Love Being Miserable ... and I'm Batman!

2005-12-12T19:22:00.000+01:00

My close friend Will S. once claimed that "In Time We Hate That Which We Often Fear" Well, Willy, pal, then here's a list of the things I truly fear today:

The cat's hair in my wine
The fact that I haven't received my paycheck yet and Christmas is getting dangerously close
Someone - let's give him a random name - Jerk deciding to be just that today
Getting up in the middle of the night - okay, it was 6:30 am, but "middle of the night" is always defined by personal perception
Da peeps hoo rite lik dis in da blog an lik wan u 2 think dere ghetto
Stupid Intern ass at work
Gimp W B
People who don't get how damn funny I am
People who think they're the best thing since sliced bread ... then again....
bread, particularly sliced bread
people who are confused
People who make lists out of boredom

Gosh, I hate myself today. Well, not really, but I haven't had a healthy dose of teenage angst in a while. Probably 'cause I am way past my teenage years. A fact which I like to ignore from time to time. So I'll dye my hair purple again and wear those grunge clothes I so loved in the Heyday of one Kurt Cobain (some of you might have heard of him).... Yes, I hate myself and I wanna die! Does that make me more popular? (I might sneak a peek at my visitor counter later)

Homer, another buddy of mine, once argued that "There's a Time For Many Words, And There Is Also A Time For Sleep" And who am I to argue with a Greek guy?

Rant-O-Rama

2005-12-11T21:08:00.000+01:00

'Nother rant. I'm quite annoyable today. So, well, let's just say: Talk to the Hand! to certain people.

Instant Messengers are weird things. They're usually fun, but they can get really annoying as soon as you accidentally log in although you really didn't want to talk to anyone. And then there's those times when you talk to someone you do like but who also really annoys you a LOT at times. Let's not define the actual relationship too closely as I tend to panic when thinking too much!

I used to love my messengers. They let me talk to all my friends from around the world. It always had this weird stalker quality to it, but it was mostly useful. For me, it starts getting weird with those people who live close by. Those you see regularly. And, of course, those whose relationship with you you have either

not analyzed enough yet

really, really overanalyzed

There's this schizophrenic urge to slap and at the same time hug them. Driven by the rather antagonistic circumstances of being apart, but able to directly communicate, you write stuff you'd never say during a personal meeting. It's somewhere between a letter or an e-mail and a phonecall. I hate what that can result in. Well, mostly it's pure annoyance in my case. Or maybe I just shouldn't open my instant messengers anymore... I'll just go, listen to the Real Mimmelitt's wisdom and afterwards enjoy some Robbie stuff. Yes, I actually found my "Escapology" CD and it's currently being played to death along with "Intensive Care" and Katie Melua Songs. *melts*

Sometimes Streets Cannot Be Long Enough

2005-12-11T18:12:00.000+01:00

Major Rant:
I talk a lot. Really! But I can also see when someone gets really bored. That is when I usually stop talking. Now, why? Why on earth are there people who are total losers (in my humble opinion, which, of course, is rather irrelevant), but think they are the cream of the crop? What is it about people that makes me want to tell them to shut the f*ck up, then run to my car, jump in and drive as far as I can at top speed?

Maybe I'm silly to think that you should at least know a tiny little bit about stuff before you lecture others about it. Yeah, I can be naive sometimes.

There is nothing I hate more than radical idiots who have no idea about anything, but seem to have strong opinions about it. Ignorant assholes! They are there on both ends of the opinion spectrum. I'm forced to work with this guy who is an "author", an "artist", a "politician", a "director" (this one made me laugh particularly hard), and a "media designer" (among other things). He also has no clue about anything. He lets loose the most ridiculous clichés about one country and in the next sentence complains about those "stupid" people who have cliched opinions about Germany. WTF? Get yourself some f*cking books and brush up on your general knowledge! Maybe do some thinking while you're at it! There's really hardly anyone worse than people who can't think for themselves, but are convinced they are the only ones absolutely right about anything. Keepers of the only truth. .... Someone make this person drop out of his internship, because I will soon be ready to strangle him!

/End of Rant .... This doesn't make sense to anyone, but me.

Candy, Coals, and Oranges

2005-12-06T23:13:00.000+01:00

When I was a little kid - well, up until I was around 22 - I was terrified of St. Nicholas. You see, where I come from, he's supposed to sneak around town the night from Dec. 5th to 6th and put either coal or chocolate, oranges, and candy - depending on the children's individual adjustment to general disciplinary standards - in the shoes of the kids. Well, my parents decided to give their children at least one huge trauma by getting Mr. Nicholas to actually visit us. Yes, that means he appeared in person. And whoever they put into that costume each single year, they were all sadists. Starting December 1st, I thought of ways to escape the old guy's visit. He would make us recite poems and he gave us candy and little gifts, and between those two things, he was just plain mean. He yelled and yelled and knew every little stupid thing we had done throughout the whole year.

One year, my sister and I hid under a bed. They found us. I'm sure it endlessly amused everyone involved but us. The worst is: I think it's funny now that I think about it, but then, it was just like those poor kids running from Freddy Krueger. If I remember correctly, St. Nicholaus also used to have those knives as fingers .... Or maybe the warm light of the Christmas lights just made it seem that way, I don't know.

I never got coals. But damn did I get closer to therapy every year. The guy got me to brush my teeth regularly, though. Try that, Easterbunny!

Hello World ... and what's with that name?

2005-12-05T19:46:00.000+01:00

No one expects "Dear Diary" posts in blogs anymore, right? Lifestories are for my other blogs. I wonder whether I should have blinking pink hearts that rain down from the top to the bottom of my screen here. Oh wait, it's not yet time to talk about my addiction to blinking pink hearts and Barbie paraphernalia (Hello, Spell Check! Awake now?). Mental Illness talk is scheduled later in the blog.

Though Mental Illness is usually a good topic; How about this: What's with that name, Mimmelitt? Above is Mimmelitt, the coolest rabbit east of the Mississippi ... or something like that. You don't know him, you'll never be cool enough for me.

Oh vast philosophical desert that is coolness. I was never supposed to be a part of the great philosophers of our time (or the future, what ever it may be). My Russian teacher, the Oracle of Room 312, foretold me this in 11th Grade, and who am I not to believe him? Moving on from this look into my future, I learned to live with the thought of living a life as shallow as can be. In fact, my biggest problem at this very moment is where the hell I put my "Escapology" CD. I haven't listened to it in about 6 months, but I don't think I will be able to live without hearing "Sexed Up" in the next twenty seconds.

So shallow I'll be .... if only to honor my Russian Teacher.